What a quote!!

I want to end my writing with a quote by the famous South African writer Rian Malan, citing his book My Traitors Heart: "I thought, if you really want to live in Africa, you must be able to look at it and say: This is the way of love, down this pad. Look at it hard, this is where it is going to lead you. I think you will know what I mean if I tell you that love is worth nothing until it has been tested by its own defeat…. I felt that I have been asked to try to love enough not to be afraid of the consequences. I realised that love, even if it ends in defeat, gives you a kind of honour, but without love, you have no honour at all. "

4th in a row!!

Yes its another Diwali away from home. 4th in a row. Damn. And all of a sudden I have an intense loneliness pang. What am I doing? I should have been home right now and not sitting alone here in Chennai. Agreed Diwali is not to us what it is to so many, atleast not from a religious point of view. And agreed that the last Diwali at home wasn't too extraordinary either. But c'mon yaar its Diwali. It's my favourite festival after all. I don't know what it is but no other festival in India evokes the kind of feeling that diwali does in me. Images which float in my mind are those of ppl clad in ethnic indian wear, lighting in the house, ppl talking and having fun and thn silent but radiant phuljharis in the hands of kids and adults alike. I know its all very filmy and cliched and that my image is a copy of some filmy scene but what the heck!! It still is a wonderful image to have. And thn I have my own idea of an ideal diwali which has happened very rarely so far but still. family get together, games, chatting, friends and by friends I mean strictly RatPack and no other ones. Shit I miss not being in Kolkata right now!! And I miss some one else as well.. Gosh its been a long time!! How do I just erase something, how do I clear those images, how do I mute those sounds!!

Thing is its another lonely Diwali and I feel terribly lonely again. And truth is I am longing!!