"Yeh zameen chup hai, aasmaan chup hai.. " Beautiful words.
Well its one more time again.. The setting is the usual, all pieces in place.
Beautiful songs- Check
Night time after 1 p.m.- Check
Comfortably slouched on bed- Check
AC on- Check
Semi alive state of being- Check
A sense of lot of things complete and good- Check
A sense of something missing- Check
I often wonder these days whether I feel lonely and the fact that i think abt it may be is an indication of the same!! I am sure when I will look back on these times that I am spending in Chennai, I would look back on them with a lot of smiles. It's been a good stay so far, one for which I am grateful in my own way. I so firmly believe that life is so much about stealing moments from it, about being happy unless you have some strong reasons not be. Neutral is definitely positive in the scheme of life. And chennai has been good. A very dear friend as a roomie, good work so far, financially ok, family doing well, health ok. It's almost perfect. Yet there is a void. And not a void in a negative way. It's not a negative feeling that is killing me, it's not a deep malcontent. No sir!! It's a void in a "longing" sense. I wish for something or someone and I don't even know what is it. But maybe I know and may be thats the reason for this sense of loneliness. Damn I so wish that there was someone at this point in front of whom I could speak, speak about everything. Someone who would not judge me or who would not advise me. There are people like that but still they have their own issues in life. I so wish that I could have had that someone special. I so wish I could have been in love at this point. I could have had that someone perfect. Someone who would just understand and would just love. Who would reassure me and tell me that I am a good person, who would tell me that I wait for you, that you bring a smile to my face. Someone who would make me want to a better person (as good as it gets rocked!!) May be it's that age when one needs someone, may be it's the lonely beast in my mind. Who knows!! But what I do know is that I could have so done with someone who would have made me feel special, Who would have hugged me and give me that warmth. Man!! It's almost getting too mawkish (smile on my face and "tere bina jiya jaae na" in my ears :) )
I have been happy and I pray I could always be. But yes, I have missed someone as well!! :)
